Parenting is hard work. It is not always whimsical and perfect as we thought but full of surprises and challenges. These difficult days are not necessary good memories, but certainly unforgettable. Our little Isa had an emotional outburst during dinner last evening. She was crying and yelling, shoving the bowl of noodles away, kicking and being very angry all the time. Both pandamopi and I had a melt down. It was the most heartbreaking night, having to discipline her (asian way), after talking through does not seems to work (western way). It was painful, we felt almost like a failure, lost without words and had no idea what is going on and how should we react. For one reason, she is still learning to self-regulate herself emotionally.
It had been a struggle for me to find a balance and put what I learnt in the early childhood education and care course into practice. It is so hard, especially after a long day and we just want to have a proper dinner, she suddenly burst in cries and ignored whatever we said to her. We ended up feeling emotional and had a stern conversation with her which ended her being more settled and composed after that. And she gobbled up the bowl of noodle, she looked at both daddy and me and said, "hmm, yummy." Calm and sweet at the same time unexpectedly. At that moment, we cried. We felt awful for being mad but felt happy to see her smile once again. I suddenly remembered what my teacher told me, it is always worse before it got better. Maybe, maybe we just need to endure one more minute, and just one more minute.
It has been 2 days now without screen time. Instead of entertaining her the easy way out using devices, we try our best to nurture her with love for books and stories. So far Isabella's favorite story book is "Molly Mischief" which she would read as Mommy Mischief and "Splish, Splash, Ducky!" which she knows the story by heart. After story time, we would fill in the fresh milk bottle with acorns and make music with twigs or by tapping the bottle. As simple as it can be, Isabella enjoyed it tremendously. It is very sweet to hear her laugh excitedly. Natural toys like egg crates, acorns, sweet gum balls, twigs, fresh milk bottles are free yet fun. She was exercising her fine motor skills by picking the acorns, feel it with her little hands, and passing the bottle to mummy and daddy as we takes turn to create interesting rhythm. Simple nights like this are something that we cherish very much.
There will be one day when Isabella is old enough to read blogs, she will discover that she is such a joy in our eyes, that we love her more than we love ourselves. We just wish to have nothing but the best of everything for our little girl :) Love you Isabella.
