Tuesday, April 17, 2018

parenting

Parenting is hard work. It is not always whimsical and perfect as we thought but full of surprises and challenges. These difficult days are not necessary good memories, but certainly unforgettable. Our little Isa had an emotional outburst during dinner last evening. She was crying and yelling, shoving the bowl of noodles away, kicking and being very angry all the time. Both pandamopi and I had a melt down. It was the most heartbreaking night, having to discipline her (asian way), after talking through does not seems to work (western way). It was painful, we felt almost like a failure, lost without words and had no idea what is going on and how should we react. For one reason, she is still learning to self-regulate herself emotionally.

It had been a struggle for me to find a balance and put what I learnt in the early childhood education and care course into practice. It is so hard, especially after a long day and we just want to have a proper dinner, she suddenly burst in cries and ignored whatever we said to her. We ended up feeling emotional and had a stern conversation with her which ended her being more settled and composed after that. And she gobbled up the bowl of noodle, she looked at both daddy and me and said, "hmm, yummy." Calm and sweet at the same time unexpectedly. At that moment, we cried. We felt awful for being mad but felt happy to see her smile once again. I suddenly remembered what my teacher told me, it is always worse before it got better. Maybe, maybe we just need to endure one more minute, and just one more minute.

It has been 2 days now without screen time. Instead of entertaining her the easy way out using devices, we try our best to nurture her with love for books and stories. So far Isabella's favorite story book is "Molly Mischief" which she would read as Mommy Mischief and "Splish, Splash, Ducky!" which she knows the story by heart. After story time, we would fill in the fresh milk bottle with acorns and make music with twigs or by tapping the bottle. As simple as it can be, Isabella enjoyed it tremendously. It is very sweet to hear her laugh excitedly. Natural toys like egg crates, acorns, sweet gum balls, twigs, fresh milk bottles are free yet fun. She was exercising her fine motor skills by picking the acorns, feel it with her little hands, and passing the bottle to mummy and daddy as we takes turn to create interesting rhythm. Simple nights like this are something that we cherish very much. 

There will be one day when Isabella is old enough to read blogs, she will discover that she is such a joy in our eyes, that we love her more than we love ourselves. We just wish to have nothing but the best of everything for our little girl :) Love you Isabella.












Tuesday, March 27, 2018

M is for magpie

In Australia, M is for magpie.
I particularly like looking at the magpies when walking to Isabella to and from the childcare centre everyday. It is like an intimate mother daughter time which we get to share everyday after a long day.


Sunday, March 25, 2018

'yummy' & a chaotic weekend

This is Isabella's favorite ice cream cone. She probably got the idea of ice cream through books - one of it was a number book where there were 3 ice cream cones and the other one is from "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" book. She is always excited when it comes to these pages with ice cream cones. So on Saturday we went to the Cooleman's Court Reject Shop for a shopping spree and she wanted this ice cream cone badly. She even said the word 'yummy' and refused to let it go. Of all the toys, she wanted this ice cream cone.

We rarely buy her toys as many of her toys were hand-me-down items. So daddy decided to get her this ice cream cone. She was very happy and appreciated it so much so that she slept with her ice cream cone. Happiness is that simple for children. For $2.50, she is happy with the ice cream cone and it is all worth it. 

I just need to pen this down that this few days has been challenging for three of us. Isabella cried badly out of sudden on Friday night. When I finally pacified her to sleep, she vomited and that was the start of an uneventful weekend. She had runny stool and vomiting, which made cleaning tiring for both of us, not considering the cries of pain and frustration. We needed to make sure that the furniture and bed is not contaminated by the vomiting. After few sleepless nights, my body gave in and I got a cold, fever and vomit. Things got worse when daddy who is the last man standing got the gastro virus too and started throwing up.  Being sick and away from home on a cold lonely weather is quite an experience. We felt helpless and tired, prayed that we could recover soon. Each time I prayed, Isabella would answer with an "amen", like a reaffirmation that all this will come to past.

Today I needed to give my class a miss as Isabella could not go to the childcare center due to her running stool. According to the childcare policy, she is supposed to only returned to the childcare after 48 hours from the last runny stool. We went to the medical center where there was no full bulk bill for adults, which means we need to pay medical bills out of pocket for adults. The doctor did not even examine us but just had a casual conversation and we got charged for the bill without any medication. Thank God today daddy stayed with us too, or else I could not imagined how chaotic it would be. At moments like this, migrant life is hard, especially without our friends and family support that we always got back home. But no matter what, I believe we will pull through and be better.

Writing this by the window, overlooking the maple tree leaves swooshing by the cold wind. It is now peaceful and quiet. Both daddy and little girl is resting soundly. I am praying for their speedy recovery, and the strength to brace the winter that is to come.





Monday, March 19, 2018

nights like this

yet another long night with your cries breaking the silence of the quiet cold night.
i was lost and could not find the reason.
i could only guess and analyze the possible causes of your discomfort.
could you be too cold, hungry or just lonely and want more cuddles?

i grabbed the nearest socks which belongs to daddy
and wore it on your little feet
put some oil and rubbed your chest and tummy
played a gentle lullaby
hugged and walked you to sleep
changed your nappy
fed you some milk
and then
you fell asleep
just like that.

and just before i left the room,
i saw your chin hurt from the fall the other day
with blood stains on your shirt
my heart ached
how could i not think of that earlier
how could i be mad when you cried non stop just now.

i kissed you
and apologised
and then i could not sleep
but drew you again tonight
because i love you so much
and wished i could record
every moment i spend with you
even just gazing at you fell sleep
just like this

night like this are long
but i wont be sleepless forever
because one day
you will outgrown all this
and you will sleep well my dear

Sunday, March 18, 2018

semana 2

ya hace 2 semanas estamos en Canberra. Tengo mucho emociones y a veces me confuso. La mayoria de los dias me siento feliz, a veces echo de menos a mi familia en Malasia, a veces tengo miedo que voy a perdir mis caminos en la ciudad por que no se como conducir (y no me gusta conducir). 

parece que el otoño está casi aquí. Durante el día, hace mucho calor y durante el noche, hace mucho frio. Mis pieles se pelan durante noches frias y secas. La noche esta muy tranquila. Mientras escribiendo esto, mi esposo y hija ya estan durmiendo. Y entre, mi hija lloro por la leche y el agua.

Fue una semana muy bien con Pablo y Diana. Cocinamos la comida de Malasia para almuerzo y fuimos a Centro de Parliament de Canberra para Skyfire (fuegos artificiales) en la noche. Lo pasamos muy bien y cuando llegamos en casa, comiamos sopas de hongos.

Manana voy a mi primera clase para apprender cuidado de infantil. Buenas suerte a yo mismo y a mi hija Isabella. Espero que todo va a ser muy bien para nosotros - es primera dia para Isabella en centro de cuidado de infantil. !Que Dios nos bendiga!




Thursday, March 15, 2018

Canberra

A veces, tengo duda que estoy yo aqui, en Canberra, Australia. Planeabamos para mucha tiempo para este momento, y ahora estoy escribiendo el blog con este vista de nuestra ventana- casa grande de ladrillos naranjas. Los pajaros estan trinando entres los arboles. El clima es perfecta hoy con el sol suave y brisa muy hermosa. Y mientras estoy escribiendo, una libélula acabo de voló más allá de la ventana.

Gracias a Dios por todo, por este opportunidad, por unirme con mi esposo y mi hija, por este momento. Ahora tenemos nueva vida, lejos de bullicio de ciudad. Tenemos vida mas calidad como una familia, como lo que siempre hemos imaginado. Por eso, quiero dar mil gracias a Jesus, mi Rey.

***

Sometimes, I could not believe I am here in Canberra, Australia. We planned for a long time for this moment and at this very moment I am writing blog with this view from our window - a big house with orange bricks. Birds are chirping between the trees. The weather is perfect today with gentle sun rays and beautiful breeze. And as I am writing, a dragonfly just flew past my window.

Thank you God for everything, for this opportunity, for uniting me with my husband and my daughter, for this very moment. Now we have a new life, away from the hustle and bustle of city. We have more quality life as a family, just like what we have always imagined. For this, I just want to thank God to Jesus, my King.





Sunday, December 10, 2017

mi casita

¡Que sorpresa!
Encuentro mi casita
En la sala de la casa

Solo invito el teddy
mi amigo mejor
a este evento privado

cuchicheamos con teddy en silencio,
en mi casita de la caja,

en mi propio mundo.

-thelazypainterpoems