Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Isabella's gaze

After a long grueling day at work, I took a brief shower and changed to my most comfortable cotton linen dress I bought in Phuket 3 years ago. It was already 7:01 pm and I was almost late for Isabella. I rushed through the stairs and brought her home. She was in yellow pyjamas, just like the lazy egg yolk called Gudetama.

My mind is constantly running. What to make for dinner, what to do after dinner, how to spend time with the little one, dishes to wash, laundry to collect, bottles to sterile.. etc. The list is endless. Most of the time, I rushed like a mad woman, chasing the time around the clock, but rarely have time to myself.

I was tired by the time I finished reading to her. I put her to sleep but her mind was too active. I was the one who felt asleep first without knowing she was still awake. Suddenly I realized it was exceptionally quiet. I opened my eyes, and saw she gazed at me, watching me sleep. I was the one who love to watch her sleep but today, she gazed me sleeping. It was so heart melting that I almost cried. It was one of the sweetest thing I ever experience. Children is indeed a blessing.

She slept shortly after fighting over her sleepiness. Rested on the bed, I feel so comfortable yet I pushed myself to start working. There is another battle to fight tomorrow.

Monday, September 11, 2017

sweet dream

Last night my daughter came home feeling jolly. At the tender age of 1, she is at the stage where she is highly curious, responsive and also a tad bit of naughty. Some days she is diligent in reading books, some day she is in her playful  mode. It happens that yesterday she was in a nerdy mode and wanted to read so much. This little soul really loves learning.

After some time, she was tired and decided to call it a day and asked for pacifier. And so we went sleeping together, dozing off to dreamland.


Wet Monday

The last post I wrote was back in June where I thought I just had 6 tough months passed and the days ahead should be better and clearer. Apparently, it got tougher and tougher, as if it was stretching my limit. The testing is real, the challenges are hard. I would not have made it if it was not for your prayers and God who has been sustaining me. Just as when I was thinking what i have gotten myself into this year, I count my blessings, for in the desert I met angels and see God's love all the time. The Lord has been taking care of me all the time.

I had been struggling with work lately, mainly because the job scope and nature is new and I am unfamiliar with it. However, the attitude of the people I met and worked with added more stress to me. Many time I wonder what joy does it has for someone to be snobbish and arrogant all the time. That person must be having some heart issues because he/she is communicating in such a way that would make you drown or suffocate. It was very toxic because I started to hate my job and the person I see everyday, to the point of hearing them talk or breath. I was stressed and my health was ailing. I asked God for help. He told me to focus on Him and my family and healed  my heart. Hatred brings sickness. So after some time, I begin to realize the environment did not change for the better, but God is working within me. I begin to let go and learnt how to isolate my ears and eyes from the things I dislike. I let God's song filled my mind. There were many point breaking moments but I am glad God pulled me through. 

This morning was very dark and gloomy and the rain was heavy. I brought 3 bags (my Sri Lanka fabric bag, another fabric bags with important documents, and my lunch box) with me and was walking under the rain. The traffic was busy and I saw the sight in front of me - many people crowding at the bus stop with the gloomy sky and dense trees as back drop. I stood still, in awe. Despite the trouble of treading the road with rain splashes that seeps into my shoes, today I felt a sense of peace and thankfulness in me, that I am still loved by Him and able to have a healthy body to go to work, earn some dough and put food on the table. It is not to be taken for granted. 

Today is the day I hope to go home on time after many crazy weeks of stress and late nights.
I am looking forward to see the little one.

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

6 tough months

6 tough months without an update. The space was dusty and poor froggy had been blinking since 31 December 2016 till now.

I had been busy with my work and little one, that I barely have time to rest. I am a happy mom, but not a very happy worker. I made a change to my career and my career satisfaction is compromised. I was stressful and my health was ailing. Nonetheless, life moves on and as I am writing, I am reminding myself to look forward, not backward; to take things at a slower pace and to watch my health.

These days I am glad that sketching is keeping me sane. I could say that to LIVE in this city is a FEAT everyday. More often than not, it is demanding so much more than what you could offer. Sketching makes me thankful and cherish little moments, like when Isabella is able to sit unsupported. 

Friday, December 30, 2016

Reflections @ 2016

2016 flew. 12 months passed by. When we were in the month of January, we thought, "God, it is going to be a long year." Never did we realized that today as i am typing my way in my little space in this world wide web, a year has gone. It is an amazing year, so much to be thankful of. As i am writing this, i do not know why, but tears are welling out. Probably, we had gone through a lot this year and to think back on how we made it through with God's grace, we have no words to describe how tough yet sweet it is and we are here because of the support we have from the Almighty, and also you, our dearest family and friends, from near and far. Yes, that is 2016! 

January 
Our last trip as twosome. Isa joined us but she was in my womb. It was tired but very joyful trip. 

February
 
Met up with my pregnancy buddy which was also my high school classmates. Our babies are due almost the same date :D it was a beautiful pregnancy journey with you, Ellis. I truly enjoy every updates exchanged with you during our monthly check up.

March
Baby Isa is growing in me and I am enjoying every single moment.

April

Had a blast with my spanish family welcoming baby Isabella. Feeling beyond blessed and touched. It was a moment i would be remembering always and it is a story i would be telling Isabella when she grows up.
My dearest colombian friends, Pablo and Diana was leaving to Australia for a new adventure. I was sad for many days because i missed them but i am also happy as i know they are in a very nice country! Painted this to wish them great journeys in life, no matter how many journey they would be having in life!

May
Heavily pregnant. We went all the way to the botanical garden on a scorching hot day to take a series of pregnancy photos. It was exhausting but all worth it. I didnt realize i had such a big bump until i look back at those photos...#missingmybabybump

June

I had some serious hot flashes during my stay in Kuching while waiting to give birth. It was hormonal and i could not control it. I felt sick, caught cold and had flu because i slept near the strong fan without any blanket. It was a waiting game everyday on when Isabella is going to be born.

July
2 July 2016 - met up with my beautiful dominican republic italian friend who came to Kuching. Never did i ever think that 5 days later Isabella was born!
7 July 2016 - Little Isa chose a nice birthdate for herself. This photo is precious because there was so many emotions in it. I was tired but relieved, and beyond happy after giving birth to little Isa. Pandamopi was beyond words when he saw a very tiny grey baby coming out from me. Baby isa did not give a loud cry. She probably was shy so she cried like a cat!

August
Isabella is one month old. Confinement is finally over!
Celebrated my birthday as a mom for the first time with family in Kuching

September
It was tough adjusting to new life, especially with a very young baby and then getting back to work after 1 full months of rooming in with baby 24/7. Grateful for a mom-in-love who came all the way from Penang to help us settled down.
Went straight back to work when Isa was only one month old. I had separation anxiety and cried on my first few days back to work but smiled to myself when nanny's daughter sent me this! Her shirt is too cheeky!! I experienced letdowns when isa is feeding at nanny's. It's amazing how this little one gives me such great strength and motivation to work :D I will never give up!
Little Isa is officially a big sister now because little cousin Oli is born on 10 September 2016. Cant wait to let Isa play with Oli :D 

October 2016
3 months old isa continues to grow into a happy little girl. We can never love her enough :D

November
Back to The Reading Room with my spanish family again after a long time, this time with Isa in our midst. It was a beautiful moment and what we left in the rooms was memories, nothing else...

It seems that the grey baby that was born 4 months ago knows how to appreciate and enjoy books now :D
 Mom flew in to Singapore to spend some time with Isa and it was a great time..
Attempted to participate in #theadventretreat 2016 but stopped half way due to unforeseen circumstances. Will participate again this year..
December 

 December is exciting. Spend a very short weekend for a wedding but did super many things that in the end Isabella's just dozed off without waking up for milk...

Attended my wedding mc, Gloria & Mervyn's wedding dinner. It was beautiful.

Our very first christmas together. Happy Isa!

12 amazing months, with our fair share of ups and downs. The fact that i am still typing now means life is still great as it is :) Thank you, Lord for your provision and protection! All glory to You.


Tuesday, September 13, 2016

burp...urp

It’s milk time again,
Her tiny tummy is growling,
Her big eyes looking at me,
She opens her lips and cries for milk,
It’s a cue not to be missed,
For once its missed,
A loud cry to follow.

She wriggles and struggles,
Half way through the feed,
Head on my palm,
Buttock seated on my lap,
Gently pat her back,
Counting one to ten,
It’s a cue not to be missed,
For once its missed,
Milk posseting to follow.

Drunken with milk,
Eyes opening and closing,
Neck arching,
Squirming like a worm,
Pouting like ikan puput,
Figuring all the bubbles,
That might have trapped along the way,
It’s a cue not to be missed,
For once its missed,
A loud angry cry to follow.

Suddenly the loud burp came,
So loud and satisfying,
Like a big comma,
Amidst a long sentence,
And so the milking continues,
Peaceful and calm again,
After the long loud burp.

Burp..urp..

*ikan puput = longfin herring fish

Friday, July 8, 2016

first bath



O’ little Isabella,
tiny little red baby,
day two of life
and she is having her very first bath in life.

Grandma carried her,
With tender and gentleness,
for she is so tiny and cute,
ready to awaken new senses.

Grandma wets little Isa's hair with warm water,
Running her wet fingers in her fine hair,
Gently but firm,
Securely loved,
Slowly places her down in the little green tub.

O’ little Isabella,
She is awakened,
Curious yet exciting,
Cries a little,
Calms after that,
Eyes blinking,
Limbs moving,
In the little green tub,
Full of warm herbal bath,
Such a beautiful sight to see.

When bath time is over,
Grandma picks her up,
And wrap her tightly in a towel.
She smiles with her eyes,
Telling grandma that she likes the bath.

Grandma hugs her so gently,
Pats her down until she’s dry,
Powders her with baby powder,
Puts on clean cloth,
Wraps her in clean linen,
Isabella smells so fresh and clean.

So peaceful and calm,
Ready to milk and
Fall asleep slowly
Into her little dreamland.